At the time of the Pulse shooting, the National Association of State Mental Health Program Directors Research Institute ranked Florida last among the states in mental health spending at $36.05 per capita. Mental health advocates have long criticized Florida’s investments in mental health programs. “We’re at three years and people still feel like it happened just yesterday.” “This isn’t something that’s going to heal itself,” Reagan said. Reagan and Torres joined other survivors in Tallahassee this year, calling for the state to make available long-term mental health care. They and other advocates also want to ensure mental health resources remain available for whoever needs them in Florida. Many Pulse survivors reached out to victims after shootings in Parkland and Las Vegas to offer support. Mass tragedies still trigger Reagan and Torres, but they also said it’s when they’re needed most. That’s when he started to open up to a professional. It wasn’t until months later that he realized it wasn’t enough to deal with the emotions that flooded him when he thought about that night, of who escaped with him and who didn’t. “People think, ‘You didn’t get shot so you’re okay.’ But I saw my best friend die.”īrian Reagan, 33, initially found solace in the friendships he built long before the shooting while working at Pulse. “We clam up and we close up because we have no one to talk to who understands,” said Serrano, 52. The general population doesn’t always understand how the shooting was a terrorist attack on people already at risk, said Sylvia Serrano, a Pulse survivor who also hid for hours in a bathroom. LGBTQ adults are more than twice as likely to experience a mental health condition and are at greater risk for suicidal thoughts. They have created Facebook pages and swapped messages of support, especially around this time of year.

Survivors describe a close-knit community of people who have leaned on each other after the tragedy. “Where you don’t see that much of the people coming and going as we did in year one or two.” “It’s the year where people disappear on us,” Aponte said. She hopes to open a $50 million permanent site by 2022. On Monday, Poma stood by Orlando-area members of Congress as they unveiled a new bill that would designate the Pulse site a federal memorial. “It’s a really different kind of year - something else we learned from our colleagues in 9/11,” said Barbara Poma, the owner of Pulse and executive director of the onePulse Foundation. In a word, they said, it will be “different.” The research says the milestone will bring new challenges and new feelings that are not always easy to explain. They have studied past tragedies like Sept. Orlando officials, survivors and mental health providers are aware of all of this as they prepare for year three after Pulse.

Later this year, a key federal grant that has helped hundreds affected by the Pulse shooting will expire. Some victims healed from their physical injuries, but not the rejection of their sexuality from their own families.Īnd then there’s this fact: Florida perennially ranks among the worst states in the country for mental health services and funding.

Nor do the conspiracists who harass victims online and call them hoaxsters. House, Senate promise dollars for Pulse memorial after early budget snubįrequent reminders of gun violence on the news don’t help.

Those in his path have only a heartbeat to react. MORE PULSE STORIES: To feel worthy of survival, he would need to make something of his life.ģD Graphic: A gunman enters Pulse nightclub.